Monday, December 24, 2007

I (the Opposite of Heart) Huckabee

Ah Mike Huckabee. Politics' nicest douche bag. Huck's risen to the top in Iowa recently, almost entirely based on his performance in the YouTube debate, when people thought to themselves, "Wow, he's the least retarded guy on stage!"

Only three problems. One: He's a hard-line social conservative. Two: Somehow, he's a former Christian pastor, yet he's proud of carrying out the death penalty.

And three, the one that I really can't believe, the one that's the craziest of all: He supports the Fair Tax.

Actually, I'm never calling it the "Fair Tax" again. "Fair Tax" is one of those word games politicians like to play to sell ideas that are actually really good for their rich and/or corporate overlords to dumb schmucks who don't follow politics. It sounds a lot better to call something the "Fair Tax" than the "23% Sales Tax." But 23% Sales Tax doesn't really roll off the tongue, so I'm going to call it, "The Schmuck Tax."

The Schmuck Tax, as you know if you followed that link, is a crackpot plan to eliminate the IRS and income tax as we know it, and replace it with an exorbitant sales tax, that would probably actually need to be higher than the 23% figure Huckabee is tossing around. This idea is absolutely insane.

On the surface, it has its selling points - no more IRS, no need to call the accountant, and hey poor people, want a prebate? Huh? Huh? Tasty prebate for the poor person! C'mere, boy! ThasagoodDestitudeAmerica, you're a good Destitute America, yes you are.

But those "benefits" are all shams. The schmuck tax would create enough problems that you'd need a brand-spankin'-new IRS-type body to deal with them. You wouldn't need an accountant at tax time, but you'd have to be much more rigorous in budgeting your money. The prebate is a shameful deception, designed to make uniformed poor people believe the schmuck tax would help them, when really, it would destroy them.

The schmuck tax is in fact nothing short of a boldfaced attempt to soak the poor. Think back to High School Economics for a second (yes, I was awake for some of it), and you'll remember that poor people spend a higher percentage of their income than rich people. In fact, the percentage you save is directly proportional to how much you make. So, the poorer you are, the more of your income the schmuck tax is going to take from you.

This gets even crazier when you realize that right now, 27.6% of federal tax revenue comes from the richest 1% of the populace. With one fell swoop, the schmuck tax would not only make their rate the same as the poor's, but ensure they had to pay it on less of their income. This would be, make no mistake, the biggest tax cut in US history for the rich. That 27.6% of tax revenue meanwhile would shrink drastically, meaning either less wealthy people would pick up the slack, or the government would go bankrupt.

But wait, we're not even to the craziest part yet! The Huckster says the following to support this crackpot scheme:
"What we would do with the fair tax is to eliminate all the taxes on productivity, which means you could earn anything you want," Huckabee said. "You wouldn't be penalized for saving, earning, for having a capital gain, making an investment."
First of all, I have always hated this bullshit line of conservative reasoning, that we need to keep taxes low to give people the incentive to make money. As though there are vast swaths of people going, "Oh, why bother making money, I'll have to pay taxes on it." People have plenty of incentive to make money! You know what the incentive is? Money!

But what Huckabee's not saying, but is completely obvious, is what you are penalizing people for doing: Spending.

The schmuck tax, by its nature discourages spending. Economics time again: Spending makes up 2/3 of the fucking economy! When people spend money they are helping the economy. The people they give the money to then go out and spend it themselves. Again, simple high school economics. Spent money keeps on getting spent and helping the economy. Saved money sits there and does nothing. Housing won't send us into recession unless it makes people spend less.

So we want to pass a tax that makes it so that normal Americans have to carefully weigh each purchase, because only when they buy something do they have to pay the government? Really?

This would be an unmitigated economic disaster. It would bring our country to its knees. It would benefit the rich only until the bottom went out of the economy, which would happen pretty quick.

Why is the Huckster getting away with this insanity? Please, dear god, tell me that the American people aren't so stupid that they'll fall for something this crazy just because you call it the "Fair Tax" and make some halfway decent quips about the IRS.

What?

Really?

Fuck.

2 comments:

Space Pirates Online! said...

If we get another Republican in the White House, I might move to Canada. If Huckabee or Romney get the White House, I WILL move to Canada.

davidbaer said...
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